We often hear the comment “i am a slave” and we see many people choosing to identify themselves as slave rather than submissive, but are they really being true to the concept of slavery or is it just that it “sounds better” than submissive.

Is it a more romantic notion or more for the shock value, or is that many people do not understand the word submissive – slave is a term that most are familiar with.

To understand what a slave really is, as compared to a submissive, we need to explore the actual meaning of slave or of slavery.

The Definition of slavery and of a slave:

• The state of one bound in servitude as the property of a slaveholder or household.
• One deprived of personal freedom and compelled to perform labour or services.

 A slave in the real sense of the word, is held against his or her will, from the time of capture or purchase, or from birth.

This is the definition and the knowledge that most people associate with slavery in the vanilla world, but what about in the D/s world?

I personally know several people who identify as slaves – however and with no disrespect intended to anyone, i can honestly say that i only know one who really lives as a slave - who has consented to the life of consensual slavery (the way i perceive it to be) – he is controlled every moment of his life.

He is by his owner’s side constantly, where ever she is, that is where he must be.

He has no outside life, no job except that of her slave, no say in what he does or does not do. She clothes him, feeds him, and is responsible for every single aspect of his existence.

He is punished for wrongdoings, and rewarded when he does well.

A punishment could mean to be chained up, under the stairs for a day or two or more, with only a thin mattress and a bucket – the bucket does not get emptied until he is released.

A reward maybe to be put into bondage.

This slave has a computer but is not allowed to use it for anything other than family emails, maybe once every few months. I do not know any other person who has this restriction, slave or submissive.

To me, this is true consensual slavery. This slave entered into this relationship knowing what it would be like, he knew the conditions and the last decision he made was to become a slave to his owner.

He will never again have to worry about anything, he has passed control over to her, of every single aspect of his life without exception.

Every other slave or submissive i know may talk of doing that, but in reality, there are little things that are kept, some small aspects of control.

For example, i have given control of my life to my Master, but He does not tell me when to wash the clothes, or when to clean the toilet, i choose when those things are done, He has given me that responsibility, so in effect i have control over certain things.

A true slave would not have even that tiny measure of control – a slave’s life would be one of orders and obedience at every single step, in every single moment.

A few years ago, when i was still very new to this lifestyle and before i met my current Master, i was introduced to a person who told me she was a 24/7 slave. I was very interested in her life, and asked many questions.

It became apparent to me very early on, that though she identified as a slave, she was in fact no more than an abused person, in a relationship with a man who called himself her 'master' but was actually a horrible piece of work who had no idea what D/s or BDSM was about.

They did not live together as he was married, she was not allowed to contact him at all, but was expected to be available at a moment’s notice for anything he asked of her.

i am available for anything my Master asks of me too, but there is a huge difference.

This so called Master, expected my friend to work as a prostitute and hand over all her money, he expected her to have gang bangs every week and video them, and present the tape to him, he demanded that she bring drugs back to him when she went overseas, he demanded that she find him a virgin – and that if she could not, then she was to supply her own teenage daughter.

He would beat her – not flog her or spank her, but beat her with fists to her face and other parts of her body. There was never any after care, nor did he care for her welfare in any way.

The sad thing was that this person thought that was what consensual slavery was about, she thought she had made a choice to be abused, and signed a contract that said there was no escape.

Two examples of “consensual slavery”  they are at opposite ends of the scale, and yet there is so much in between them. My choice of the two would be the first example, to consent to be a slave but to know without a doubt that you are cared for and valuable to your owner.

The second example is abuse, and nothing more.

The other concept of “being a slave” is that of a sex slave, and there are many who believe that BDSM is about this type of behaviour – that to be a slave in the bedroom is to ‘be a slave’

Many people who are searching for slavery or D/s are in fact only searching for kinky sex or submission in the bedroom, and of course there is nothing wrong with that either.

I believe that slavery or submission is a personal perspective, and that there is no right or wrong way. Many would call me a slave, i live with my Master in a 24/7 situation, i am there to do His bidding, and i have no control over my life, it is in His hands.

I do however, have a say in certain aspects of things that affect me – and my Master does listen to my point of view – the outcome may not change, and the decision is His alone, but at least He listens.

If i was a slave in the true sense of the word, i would not have a right to voice my opinion, or to offer any suggestions, i would simply have to do as i am told whether or not i felt it was right.

Consensual Slavery then, is something that many of us identify with, and we live the way we believe a slave should live – the degree of control and freedom ultimately rests with the Owner – and of course it is His or Her perception of what a slave is, that determines what life is like for the one who is owned.

© kim (MJ) 2007