Leather Families

If you look in the dictionary to find the definition of the word “family” you will be confronted with a long list of descriptions, as the word covers many different situations.

The two most common definitions would probably be:

a group of persons who form a household under one head, including parents, children and servants.
A group of people who are generally not blood relations, but who share common attitudes, interests or goals and frequently live together.

In the D/s and Alternative Lifestyles, the term “Leather Family” covers a wide range of different relationships and situations, but the basic element is that it is a “family” in every sense of the word.

The different members may live together all in the one household, or may simply gather together regularly, just as many vanilla or “normal” families do.

There are many different types of Leather families, and some family situations would come under the Leather Family umbrella even though they may not follow a D/s Lifestyle.

There are poly families, non poly families, lesbian families, gay families, and many variations within those types.

Lesbian and Gay families normally consist of a same sex couple – sometimes with other family members, either adult or children, natural or adopted.

Although once frowned upon, there is now much more acceptance these days of same sex couples.

There are also instances of D/s families having a Lesbian Dominant at the head, with perhaps her lover who may or may not be submissive and then other male or female submissives also part of the family.

Gay Masters can have a similar situation, a Gay Master may have male slaves, and a lover, or simply only one or more submissives or slaves.

This type of family is often described as following “Old Guard” principles where the slave is lower than the family dog and is treated as such.

Sometimes, the D/s family will consist of one Dominant and many submissives, sometimes there are two or more Dominants.

A Gorean Master, for example, may have several female slaves, all serving different purposes in His household. He may or may not have sex with all of them.

A poly family is one where all members are sexually active with each other. A poly family may be more like a “hippy commune” with many members, or like

Jack Thompson, the Australian actor, who made controversial headlines many years ago when it was revealed that he lived with two sisters and that they both shared his bed. That is a good example of a vanilla poly family.

In the D/s lifestyle, a poly family usually consists of either one or two Dominants and one or more submissives or slaves.

The most common situation would be one Dominant and one or more submissives or slaves who live all together and who share sexual relations.

Often the females are bisexual, and so can pleasure each other as well as their Dominant.

Of course some poly D/s families do not have all members living together, but they meet regularly.

A good example could be a family which consisted of a female Dominant at the head, with maybe three or four slaves, of both sexes. They would most likely all be bisexual, and though they may not live together, they would all meet regularly at events or at one of their homes.

A non-poly D/s family is usually one where there is one Dominant at the head, and one or more submissives or slaves who are part of the family.

The Dominant may have a relationship with one of the submissives, but is not sexually active with the other members of the family.

i am most familiar with this arrangement as i am part of such a family.

At the head of Our family is my Master, Master Joe. I live with Him in a 24/7 D/s relationship – i am His collared submissive – He owns me.

Within our family we currently have two other female submissives who do not live with us, but belong to Master just as i do. One is fully collared and has been Master’s submissive for around 8 years, the other is fairly new to our family and wears Master’s collar of protection while she learns about herself and her submission.

When i first came into this family, Master owned four other submissives besides me – three female, and one male bisexual slave, - which caused some very raised eyebrows indeed! We made an interesting picture when we were all together, all wearing His tags on our collars. More interesting because Master is straight and monogamous, yet many people seemed to think He slept with all of us!

The other submissives regularly come over, or meet up with us at various events and we really are a family in every sense of the word.

I am known as the Alpha submissive, because i am also Master’s life partner, even though i have not been around as long as one of the other girls, my status as His partner puts me in the “first girl” position.

We all get along very well, and from my own personal point of view, i love being part of this family. Our family also has other members, the male bisexual who was Master's property is now a Dominant in his own right, with his own slave and they are part of our family too.

Of course not all Leather families have the same dynamics.

Some families have a hierarchy with members having different levels of importance depending on their status and time in the family.

I know one family where the Master is married to a Mistress - the Master follows the Gorean principals and has two or three slaves. They do not actually live with Him but spend a lot of time with him.

The Mistress also has her own slave or slaves, - this may seem like an unusual situation but it seems to work, and really what works for you is what is important, no matter what label is placed on your situation.

i also personally know of a Master who has three slaves or submissives. Two live in his own country, one lives here in Australia. Their family is a little different – He has a sexual relationship with the slave over here and also with one of the two in his own country. The other one is considered the “family pet” and both he and his alpha slave dominate and play with her. This is an interesting and unusual dynamic that stretches across two continents but it works quite successfully.

In my research for this article i came across some other examples of Leather Families, in which the members seem to thrive and be happy and contented with their lifestyles.

One which stood out was a family with four female Dominants and four male submissives, three of whom are owned by the female Dominants, and are in relationships with them also.

All the males are submissive to all the females, it is an interesting dynamic but seems to be successful for the members of the family. There are also some other friends who are considered honorary members of the family, they come and go and have some rights and privileges but are not full members.

Of course there are many other ways of setting up and running a family, in the end the dynamics work when the people in the family want to be there.

Some families change and evolve, just as ours has done, as members change direction or move on.

Leather Families are really much the same as regular families, with the same frustrations, and rewards, members come and go, some stay for a long time, some only until their time to move on has come.

For me, being in a leather family has brought me more support and love than i have ever had in my life before. I finally feel as if i belong somewhere, instead of always feeling like i was different.